Twilight Conference Recap August 4, 2009

I went to TwiCon in Dallas this past weekend. I spoke on a panel about the music of Twilight. Marah of Bloodshot Records organized our panel and, along with Angela at Wired and Genevive at The Onion, we planned for months what to talk about. Some of us were very nervous, which only increased when we saw the ballroom they put our panel in (photo at left), but luckily only about 3 dozen people actually showed up and all panic attacks abated. Canadian web channel Reelz taped it, but let me elaborate on my comparison of “Twilight,” “Valley Girl,” and Baz Luhrmann’s “Romeo + Juliet” with you.

I touched on other topics, but one of the most interesting was comparing these three teen movies. I selected “Valley Girl” and “Romeo + Juliet” specifically to compare musically to “Twilight” because all three are, at their core, in debt to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet for their plot. Additionally all three have had wildly successful soundtracks that accompanied the very successful movies. So how does the “Twilight” soundtrack stack up to these other teen movie soundtracks? Personally, I think it is the weakest of the bunch.  “Valley Girl” shoved Modern English’s “I Melt With You” into the collective consciousness of the world. “Romeo + Juliet” made a hit of The Cardigans “Lovefool.” “Twilight” has yet to break a new artist like the other two movies. I do hold out hope it will move in that direction with the second Twilight movie “New Moon.” I’d like to see a song (or several) become inextricably associated with the Twilight series in the minds of the general public and not just TwiHards. To me that is the sign of a very powerful soundtrack that has been wisely chosen and marketed.

Also, in my own personal opinion, the songs on the “Twilight” soundtrack as a whole are not as compelling as the other two movies I compared it to. “Valley Girl” is very focused musically, enlisting L.A. bands and a few cool British bands of the time into a very specific music soundtrack. You get the sense that the people putting it together and selecting music for that film were consciously attempting to be cool and credible. “Romeo + Juliet” is less concerned with credibility, but also operates in a narrow parameter where pop music scores specific moments in the movie and everything is very, very current. “Twilight” seems to have a broader focus musically. The music in the film is largely hidden in the background and unrecognizable, even at pivotal moments. There is nothing wrong with that at all, but it lends itself to a soundtrack with somewhat improbable artists like Collective Soul (who we haven’t really heard from since the late ’90s), Perry Farrell (a panel favorite to pick on as the out of place track on this soundtrack) and Linkin Park (who especially strike me as an odd choice for such a female driven movie – why is there not an aggressive female voice here instead?).

At any rate, those are just my impressions and musings. If you’d like you can listen to the alternative TwiVerse soundtracks Marah, Angela and I created for “Twilight” on imeem.

Also, I have to talk a little about the Masquerade Ball that closed the conference. It got me thinking about a “Twilight and the Media” panel we’d attended the day before when someone brought up how mainstream media marginalizes things women fetishize, like Twilight, but will embrace boy fetishes like “Star Wars.” It is true, to a degree, that womens’ interest items like Twilight are treated as second class, but it’s also difficult not to laugh at the sort of cult behavior it inspires, like this masquerade ball. I mean, it was thousands of women dressed in ballgowns and masks with nary a man in sight. Ok, I saw 4 men. I found it amusing in the same way I’d find dudes dressed up like Star Wars characters and hanging out together funny. It is in no way a lesser funny.

If you think you are unable to appreciate the movie “Twilight” please allow me to point you to the Riff Tracks version. It is an additional commentary track in MP3 form written and performed by the people who brought you Mystery Science Theater 3000 and it makes the movie SO SO SO much more hilarious. I cannot recommend this enough, especially if you think you’d hate “Twilight” or if you watched it and thought it was an unintentionally hilarious B-movie.

A Girls’ Guide… August 25, 2008

I’m biting the bullet and publicly admitting that I’ve started writing a book. Well, it’s non-fiction so really I’ve started writing a book proposal. The topic is to do with women, record collecting and deciphering the man who loves record collecting more than women.

I’ve scratched out most of my chapter summaries and today I started working on researching my book’s market. Holy crap did that open a black hole of Internet information! It seems that in the last 3 years everyone realized that a) women have a lot of money and/or decision making power about purchases in their household and b) marketing to “women” as one group will not get you hot shit.

So today I’ve read the blog of one of the authors of The Soccer Mom Myth, a study on women and non-fiction book purchases from 2007, and the Pew Internet Study about online influencers of music and electronic purchases. I’m certain that I can piece some handy marketing information from these proposals together but you know what I can’t find? Any sort of research into women and music consumption.

If you come across any links then comment but I wasn’t surprised that my various Google searches didn’t turn up any helpful results – there are no books on the topic of women and music consumption or collecting either, of the fictional or non-fictional variety. There are, however, several titles on the history of women in music and encouraging women to get into music or start a band. Not a one, though, telling women to criticize music or run a record label.

I also image Googled “record collection” and every photo on the first two pages of results that wasn’t a radio station or story about that old guy who’s selling his collection for $3M was some guy’s record collection. So I’ve posted a picture of my own CD collection on this site to try and even it out.

Lulz @ The Hills – Season 4 Ep. 1 August 18, 2008

I knew I was going to do a live blog on my reactions to this season of “The Hills” when I read the quote in last week’s Entertainment Weekly where MTV exec Toni DiSanto said, ”It’s almost becoming like a novel at this point, like this generation’s ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ or ‘Oliver Twist,’” proving that he’s never read a Dickens novel. Although I must admit that, at times, “The Hills” can move as slowly as a Dickens tomb, the handy literary reference of choice for TV critics to describe the show is “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” because everyone in last season who isn’t Lauren appear to be a peripheral character with very little to say or do.

The TV show choice comparison for has become “Sex and the City” – with Lauren Conrad cast as the show’s answer to Carrie and thousands of young women identifying with her for the last seven years, from “Laguna Beach” to her current incarnation as a fashion designer/celebrity ingenue.

Watch this full episode on MTV.com.

10:00 – Recap of last season. Blah blah, crying.

10:01 – Open on Lauren and Whitney at work for People’s Revolution. Yay, more fashion diva Kelly Cutrone this season! Lauren dishes on a date named Doug, setting the stage for this season’s boy centric drama. That was a lot of alliteration.

10:02 – I really wish this show would get a new theme song or at least reinvent this Natasha Bedingfield song this season. It’s so outdated.

10:03 – Heidi goes to work and they do an overly dramatic set-up for a visit from her sister. Heidi got really orange.

10:04 – Audrina’s still toiling at Epic Records, which insures we’ll see special appearances from bands on Epic again this season! Audrina outlines the tension between her and Lo and sets up for the party scene at their house that’s to come.

10:05 – Heidi’s sister is rather country-music-singer looking. At least her skin is a normal looking color. Spencer immediately throws a fit about her sister staying over, petulant child style. Boring dude.

10:06 – Back to Lauren & Lo’s house. Yay, the first face to face communication entirely via facial expression moment of this season happens when someone rings the doorbell!

10:07 – Lauren on a date seems like the most boring Lauren of all. Apparently she used to pull drive-bys on this Doug guy years ago. How embarrassing.

10:08 – Drinking beer tells Lauren that Doug is a guy’s guy. Logic courtesy of Lauren who orders something called a Fuzzy Dragon, which I’m pretty sure says she’s a girl who’ll get drunk and sleep with you on the first date.

10:09 – Commercial break! Holy crap I never realized how many quick cuts are in this show. You never watch one vignette more than 2 minutes. No wonder these people lack depth – they’re not given time to have any in the editing room.

10:17 – Back from the longest commercial break known to man. There was a teaser for “Exiled” this awesome looking new show where they send the chicks from “My Super Sweet Sixteen” to developing nations to do good works. Perfect.

Cut to Heidi and Spencer’s where the latter has a frown on his puss and acts like a douche to Heidi’s sister and then tells her to mind her own business when she says hey be nice to my sister. Ironically it’s followed by the Ting Tings singing “I ain’t freakin’, I ain’t fakin’ this.” It’s funny because Spidey fake everything. To quote Lauren, “like, you need to stop rehearsing your breakfast.”

10:18 – Audrina’s BBQ! ZOMG, she’s friends with faux punks and rocker boys! Maybe she like, legitimately likes music and stuff? Oh and it’s also Audrina’s birthday! Lo doesn’t know anyone and acts like a snob about it with a big frowny face. Lauren looks vaguely surprised? Pissed? I can’t quite grasp that look.

10:20 – Heidi takes her sister for a make-over! Yay she’s gonna cover up those awful roots I hope. Her sis quizzes her about how different she’s become and how much she’s sacrificing for her relationship. Everyone who meets Spencer immediately hates him. It’s amazing.

10:21 – Lauren and Doug interlude. Wow, they’re hella boring. 15 seconds was plenty. Lo refuses to attend the party and goes upstairs to play with her dog because hates life and Audrina. Uh oh, bitchy Lo from the Laguna days is back in full effect.

10: 23 – Lauren tells Frankie she wants things to be like they used to be, foreshadowing a big fight that’s gotta be coming this season. Yay!

10:24 – Another commercial break that’s a special preview of “The House Bunny” which kind of makes me contemplate poking my own eyes out.

10:26 – We’re back! Heidi’s sister is heading home with extensions and the bad roots are still there. Bumz. When she suggests moving to L.A. Spencer loses control of his hand and slams the door while grinding his teeth and Heidi gives it an, “oh really?” Ha!

10:27 – “How was the BBQ?” Whitney asks, stepping into her sidekick role to facilitate Lauren’s exposition. Lauren has word vomit as if Whitney is her LiveJournal. Really, if there’s a Whitney spin-off show as rumored (and there is) how’s Whintey ever gonna know what to talk about with no Lauren around?

10:28 – Lo is rocking a side ponytail and a mean frown as she heads to Audrina’s for a chat.

At this unfortunate point the power went out AGAIN on my block. I set the DVR to record the show again on the 11PM repeat and I’ll get you the last four minutes of the show then.

11:32 – Back to the Audrina/Lo showdown! Lo goes “it was fun” while rolling her eyes about the party and then launches into a heart to heart about how their friendship isn’t growing. Audrina tells her they’re just not clicking and that Lo has an “attitude”. No duh. This conversation gets more boring as they start every sentence with “I feel like…” until Audrina finally says, “We’ll never be friends.” WOW. Ok then.

11:34 – Magically they just had an entire fight in two minutes. Impressive!

Coming up this season on The Hills…

more blogging!

What Stopped Ancient Greece? August 1, 2008

The NY TImes (via the Nature science journal) ran an article a few days ago about the discovery of the Antikythera Mechanism, a recently discovered astronomical computer built by the ancient Greeks circa 100 B.C.

Long story short: after much studying of the device for the past two years scientists have discovered it was not only a complex astronomical tool but that it tracked the calendar of important Greek events such as the Olympic games. The NY Times originally ended their article with a question, since removed, that alluded to not understanding why Greek technology faltered not too long after this invention (around 300 A.D.) until around the 14th century. I can only assume the removed it after a few history professors emailed them and reminded them that western technology faltered during the great takeover of Christianity, when secular knowledge was suppressed by the church in favor of religious knowledge. Tony Freeth, a scientist mentioned in the Nature article, says it is “an instrument of unparalleled sophistication in antiquity, more or less unrivalled until the clockwork mechanisms of the later Middle Ages.”

The device is reportedly related to rough designs reported by the great Greek mathematician and astronomer Archimedes.

At any rate, I found the question interesting because I’ve just in the past few days finished reading a book called The Closing of the Western Mind: The Rise and Fall of Wisdom that outlined the history of the height of the Roman empire into the history around Biblical times and on through to the height of the Christian church in the empire. The first half of the book is especially engaging but if you choose to read it know the agenda is decidedly anti-religion and pro-logical thinking and sciences. The historical accounts of the writing of the Scriptures in the Bible were quite interesting and the book does present a believable theory on the church’s quelling of the ancient Roman and Greek traditions of logical reasoning. If nothing else the lack of technological, astrological and mathematical developments from the era of Roman emperor Constantine until the (eventually condemned by the church) works of Copernicus is something of interest to contemplate in the context of the Antikythera Mechanism.

He’s Just Not That Into You – Now An (E)motion Pitcure July 29, 2008

Were you one of the millions of women who were swept up in the frenzy for “He’s Just Not That Into You”- the book? Did “Sex & The City” turn you on to it? Maybe it was Oprah? At any rate, you are probably one of the millions of (largely urban, I suspect) women who were somehow exposed to the “would you stop devaluing yourself in relationships” message of the book. What can we say, years of watching “Sex & The City” totally fucked a lot of women up and somewhere along the way a lot of us lost sight of what to expect in relationships. Especially those of us living in New York where there are something like 13 million times as many women as straight men.

When I heard that Drew Barrymore’s Flower Films had optioned a movie adaption of the self-help book I was intrigued. Obviously it’s going to be a chick flick. And then when they cast a group of what seems like dozens (including Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck and more) of actors spread across their 20s and 30s it was clear that this would be one of those ensemble pieces a la Love Actually where every person’s story eventually intertwines.

All of the media mentioned above? Total guilty pleasures. Will this adaption be any good? It looks hit or miss. I predict Gennifer Goodwin’s desperate for love character will be the best thing about the movie. The Aniston/Affleck coupling will be the most boring part. The Jennifer Connolly/Bradley Cooper/ScarJo love triangle will be dramatically overacted. And the casting of Kevin Connolly and Justin Long will lead to much chin scratching.

This adaption is a very interesting idea, but I would have written it with one particular female hero at the center who fumbles her way through dating a la Lucille Ball in a chocolate factory. She can have a sidekick and it could be the chick flick equivalent of an action movie with a rotating group of pretty man faces to gaze upon.